If She'd Known, She Would Have Said Something
by Itzika
Summary: His secret--his twisted, impossible, terrifying secret--must be safe. Because if she'd known, she would have said something. Right?


Title: If She'd Known, She Would Have Said Something

Title: If She'd Known, She Would Have Said Something  
Rating: PG for references to things that go bump in the night.  
Character: Will Zimmerman  
Warnings: Somewhat AU, me indulging my obsession with weirdness, spoilers for the pilot, and memories of things that go bump (and tear people's heads off) in the night.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sanctuary or the characters therein.  
Summary: His secret--his twisted, impossible, terrifying secret--must be safe. Because if she'd known, she would have said something. Right?  
Feedback: Is so loved there are no words.

She promised full disclosure. She wouldn't have broken that promise. If she'd known, she would have said something. Right?

She would have had to. She would have had to say something. How could she not have? He might be dangerous. At the very least, he couldn't control it. She would have had to say something. Right?

If she'd known that, long before the monster had shown herself—yes, herself; it had been a pregnant female, trying to find enough food to sustain its baby—he'd sensed—not seen or heard or even smelled, but _sensed_—its presence, its position, its appearance and even what the _hell_ it was doing there—she would have said something. How could she not have been forced to say something at that? She would have had to know if he remembered, if he could still do... whatever it was. Right?

If she'd known that he'd told his mother to leave, terrified for his mother's safety but at the same time terrified for the hell-creature's _baby_—if she'd known that he'd begged her to hurry, to leave the park and take the long way home, debating at the same time whether there was someone else in the park, or if he should stay to guide the monster to another meal—if she'd known his mother had told him there was nothing there, thinking it was just normal little-boy monster-in-the-closet fear—she would said something. If she'd known that, she'd have known the guilt he'd been carrying his whole life, and she wouldn't have been able to let him go longer like that. Right?

If she'd known how he became a 'forensic psychiatrist', and why what he did looked like magic, and why he'd been so sure, so early on, that there was a little boy, and that those hadn't been bullet wounds, and that the boy had been the killer only not the killer, and that the woman had been lying when she'd ID'ed the killer, and that the boy wasn't quite human, and that he'd find comic books in that drawer, and that... She would have said something. She would have used him to track the boy, any of the dozen times they'd lost him--or she would have tried to. Right?

If she'd known that he'd known about _her_, the moment he saw her—known that her blood was so much older than her face he wasn't sure he could calculate it—if she'd known he'd known that her daughter wasn't even as human as she was—if she'd known that he'd known full well what the shields were there to keep out, and known the moment when that person was brought into the Sanctuary, and known then who that person was looking for and why, and felt the connection between them, and thought he would throw up because he couldn't stand to be around two people who were so _old_ and so _alien_, not both at once—if she'd known that she'd had no secrets from him since the moment she'd run him down—if she'd known that she hadn't had the chance to keep that deepest, darkest secret from him—if she'd known that he hadn't looked up John Druitt, but simply learned the information by being around him and then around her long enough to confirm it—she would have said something. She would have had to make sure he wouldn't say anything to Ashley or Henry. She would have had to make absolutely sure that he would stay on her side. Right?

If she'd known that he wasn't any more normal than she was, she would have had to say something. Because on the one hand, she might have found a companion, and on the other hand, she might have found another John Druitt early enough to stop him from going mad. So she would have had to say something. Right?

Right?

AN: When the pilot started, I thought/hoped Will was psychic. Since apparently that won't be canon, or at least isn't just yet, I'll just have to construct my own personal universe for it. :)


End file.
